Control

Control is a funny thing. I personally am a very controlled person, in how I act and the things I do. I like to be in control of situations, knowing all the outcomes and the what ifs. Control is a large part of how I manage my life, spinning all the plates that I have accumulated, the last year of my degree, my blog, the podcast and my personal life. These plates don’t spin unless I’m in control.

March saw those plates stop spinning. I lost control, the last month or so has been very hard. Everything got a bit too much for me to handle. I took time away, seeking refuge in the familiar, took a week out from the internet, and tried to work out what was going wrong. I felt empty towards everything, my university work, my blog and life in general.

I am creatively exhausted, I have so much going through my mind that I couldn’t seem to focus on anything. As I write this, 7 minutes before it is scheduled to go live, I am happy to report that I have managed to funnel my energy into my final major project for my degree. This is obviously eating a lot of my time, but it will be so worth it.

I have worked hard on constantly publishing content, however, I have needed more space in my mind and I have spent less time on content. This may make no sense as March was full of posts, I work a month advance so March was completed by February the 28th. I normally put out 8 to 10 posts a month, April will only have 4. This month instead of shooting and writing as much as I normally do, I chose to publish what felt natural.

The time away gave me time to think and critique my current output and reevaluate what it is that my blog offers. I have made some small changes, the image formats of my Fashion posts have been tweaked for a cleaner aesthetic. I am not sure where I am going, but I think that I am heading in the right direction.

My loss of control is probably going to be good for me, I wanted to share this with you to keep you all in the loop, and to highlight that this can happen to anyone at anytime. Bear with me as I work out where I am going, and in the mean time enjoy these pictures.