I came across a letter recently, from author Shirley Jackson, responding to a disgruntled reader of her latest book. The letter simply said;
Dear Mrs White, If you don’t like my peaches, don’t shake my tree.
This quote got me thinking. I know I spend a lot of time worrying about how people may perceive me. I worry that people don’t like me - on a surface level, my actions, words, and appearance - and on a deeper level, my trans identity, my accent, and how I perceive the world.
The weight of this emotional digestion is large, and it plays on me daily. Yet, the people who I am so worried about probably aren’t thinking about me at all!
Something needs to change.
Enter: If you don’t like my peaches, don’t shake my tree.
One of the biggest things I know I can’t change is me. How people find me, on the whole, is not my concern. If others do not enjoy the taste of my peaches, I couldn’t care less, all I ask is you leave me alone.
I think this truly defines the way the trans community is treated. We can’t change who we are, transness cannot be washed away, but who we are doesn’t affect anyone else. Instead of being so obsessed with us, if you don’t like the taste, don’t shake our tree. Quite simply we aren’t bothering you, so you shouldn’t be bothered by us.
I know the world is never as simple as this, even though I wish it could be, but this quote could simplify the landscape that we currently suffer under. It would give everyone the chance to have the perspective, that trans people are not an issue, and that we’re not an issue non-trans people should concern themselves with.
Why is everyone so obsessed with trans people? What is it, are you terrified of us because of the media? Or are you jealous, because we get to live on our own terms, and maybe you don’t? Our healthcare, our rights, and our choices, only affect us - not anyone else. The press may like to mislead and suggest otherwise (you don’t need me to go into detail) but we cause zero threat.
Perhaps the best advice I can give those who are bothered by trans people is: If you don’t like our peaches, don’t shake our tree!
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