It’s September, by all accounts the traditional parameters for summer means that we are now well and truly in autumn. Sometimes I feel like I never really enjoy something while it happens but lament it when it has passed.
I spent my summer working, but I celebrated my Birthday as well as friend's and family birthdays (Leos have to stick together) I never made big plans, never did anything *major*. Somehow the fact that I just enjoyed my summer and pottered throughout it means that my conscious feels somehow bereft, having missed out on doing something.
Suddenly when June roles in it somehow becomes the *we*must*do*something* section of the year and we must move into action scouring Trivago for the best deal on a holiday we can ill afford and may not even want to venture on. Also, families suddenly decide to plan things to do together- the whole point of families is that we see each other the bare minimum let alone go on a 2 week yachting holiday. Is there someone somewhere pushing a button making us all want to leave the comfort of our own homes for more than 24hrs??
Why oh why as I sit here typing this do I feel guilty, sad almost for the summer I never had when in actual fact I had a great summer doing the things I love, seeing and being with the people I love. It is the simple things that make me the happiest. Was this a good summer? I certainly think so. However, maybe the feeling of it being over too soon, and associated regret is actually disappointment that perhaps this summer didn't live up to those in the past.
Perhaps this is one of the pitfalls of ageing- I know, I’m not that old- but perhaps as a child, summer meant the bliss of no school. Yet at 23 the summer months still hold the same responsibilities that the other 9 months hold. It could also be that this time next year I will have left university and will once again be searching for a job, and re entering the real world.
Whatever it is that I do feel, perhaps it is that I can’t stop time passing and that no amount of self-control and organising will stop the days and the months from passing me by. Maybe this is the real crux of all this; what I hate the most about summer being over is that fact that I worry my life is slipping through my fingers.
Which is why it is so important -especially for the inner pessimist in me- not to dwell on the things, well not too much at least. So I am not mourning summer nor uttering the phrase; have I let summer pass me by? I am bounding into the last section of the year just taking everyday as it comes and living very firmly in the present and now.
Anyway, I bloody love Autumn!
Shot by Rachel Pechey
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