Mitigate for Yourself

I am an anxious soul.

The more therapy appointments I attend, pills I take, and self-reflection I embark upon, the more I realise that a natural level of angst exists in me. It is part of who I am. 

As a result, life can be tumultuous because my brain cannot tell the difference between getting on a train and being chased by lions. 

I have realised that for me there are no quick fixes with anxiety.

I have instead tried to diarise my days in ways to reduce the additional factors that can push me to a precipice of stress - a stress-cipice if you will - essential emotional awareness of my own needs. 

An example of this was a recent trip to London - something I do countless times a year and have done so for years - but it continues to send my panic rate to oblivion. The same day I had a doctor's appointment phone call, you don’t get a time, just a window of 8 am-6 pm, and so the unknown of when they will call is a huge issue for me. 

Will it interrupt the event I am attending?*

Will I miss the call?

Will it interrupt a Lunch date?

What if my phone dies?

This is more stress than I can handle - I’m getting out of breath just writing it - so that's why I decided to make my day easier. I called the doctors, which I detest, but it's a means to an end. I moved the appointment later in the month, confirmed the medication that the appointment was for was on repeat - and moved on with my day.

In this small way, I mitigated for future me, making that stressful day simpler, and more straightforward. Having one problem instead of two is always going to be easier to handle.

So if like me, you are an anxious soul, then perhaps you should try lightening your load where possible. See if it works, and mitigate for yourself.

*Sometimes my angst comes from past experiences. I’ll never forget my medication reminder alarm going off during a live vocal performance/sound-bath at a queer retreat. I wanted the ground to swallow me whole. It didn't help that the open fucking fire in July made me feel like I was being baked at 180°C.