Today marks National Coming Out Day (NCOD) - which has been marked since 1988 when movements within queer liberation saw it as an opportunity to quash homophobia.
NCOD was inaugurated in 1988 by Robert Eichberg and Jean O'Leary. Eichberg was a psychologist from New Mexico, and O’Leary was an openly lesbian political leader and long-time activist from New York. Their belief focused on the idea that homophobia (as well as a great deal more phobias levelled at the LGBT+ community) thrived in silence and ignorance. The idea that people are far less likely to perform phobic behaviours if they know someone who is LGBT+ is a sound one.
In theory, that is.
Coming out is not always the easiest thing to do, nor is it always the safest, let alone the fear it can provoke. It is not just about sexuality but encapsulates gender, expression, and all the wonderful existences that exist under the LGBT+ umbrella.
As things have evolved, in 2024 our existence is no less political than it was back in 1988, but in the 36 years that have passed, perhaps we have more pressure around our existence.
As LGBT+ people we have to come out every time we meet a new person.
We are living in a society that is weaponising gender - being trans can be terrifying.
The rate of hate crimes against LGBT+ people is at an all-time high.
The next presidential election could destroy what is left of LGBT+ rights in the USA.
Coming out may just not be feasible for everyone.
NCOD is no longer as simple as it once was, we cannot expect everyone to come out because of the net gain that can create. Instead for those who feel unable to come out, we must offer support and solidarity. Coming out is such a small part of the equation, but it can create a ripple effect around you in your life, it is not something anyone should be pressured into whatsoever.
Allyship is something that I talk a lot about, as an act given by non-LGBT+ people to the community. Allyship on NCOD is LGBT+ people supporting and educating, creating a safe environment for everyone, so that when people are ready they can come out and feel fully supported by us.
NCOD is a reminder of how much we as a community owe each other and need to create support systems for each other!
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