I don’t know about you, but I find being an adult immensely difficult.
There is so much emphasis on unspoken rules and boundaries. There are also minefields of admin tasks that require attention, somehow we always seem to need to do a food shop. This is all before we encounter social pressure, gender, wealth, and body image.
I find this pressure sits in the front of my head, similar to a headache, pulling at the back of my eyes. It feels immense to me, perhaps the burden of self-employment also weighs in on this - admittedly my own choice - the responsibility of all my designs is profound.
This pressure, a constant tugging in my stomach that feels akin to approaching the drop of a rollercoaster, can cloud my judgment. I feel that weight in all the decisions that I make daily, that sometimes it can feel like I am working on a knife edge.
Perhaps one of the biggest lessons self-employment teaches us is the ability to not operate as an island. One of the ways that I try and circumnavigate the pressure that builds, making choices seemingly impossible, is to pick the brain of someone I trust.
This is what I call tone checking. Speaking to those who are the closest to me, to gain a sense of perspective that considers all the factors that are in play for me, as well as things I may not have considered.
It can flag things that I hadn’t considered.
It can reassure or resolve my concerns.
It can help make up my mind, mirroring my thoughts.
It can help reduce the size I have blown things up to.
Having those people, who I trust and value, means I have access to small team meetings in moments of high stress. I rely heavily on tone checking and am very lucky to have people I can turn to.
If you feel this pressure - self-employed or not - I highly recommend finding your people that you can check the tone with.
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